All of the group’s power resides with an older, white, christian, male leader who interprets the bible as he sees fit, he also makes the decisions for the entire church community. These decisions made by the very small minority don’t seem to serve the entire group. For example; when the WBBC goes to picket at the funerals of soldiers who have lost their lives in combat, Fred the patriarch and head of the church oddly does not attend. Regardless of his absence the members sing American anthem tuned songs re-written with hateful lyrics. At first you think you have misheard them, based on the way they joyously smile as they sing, there is a light behind their eyes that looks like Christmas morning to a young child. Then you notice the American flags someone has tied underneath a pair of shoes as they walk across the sidewalk. You read the signs they carry that proclaim happiness at the death of these soldiers, judgments on alternative religions, god’s hatred for sinners, even signs using the F-word, and no I don’t mean fuck. But this community says they candidly preach this way out of love.
As I was watching I noticed a few things about the patriarchal system this religious group functions within. While all of the members of the WBBC have been told to listen to the lord, the women in particular have been taught how to be subservient to “the word of god” a word which they believe to be interpreted from the bible through none other than their own pastor and grandfather, Fred Phelps. How fitting. Only the women are made to wear head coverings while they attend service. Women are told it is their duty to obey their fathers and husbands. Women are taught to assimilate and to remain compliant. The women are held to many standards that the men are not held to. It is doubtful any of them feel they have ever fully met these too-high expectations. The women within this community are a classic example of the results of discrimination on the meso-level, discrimination which leaves women feeling constantly inadequate and judgmental of themselves, these feelings fuel self-hatred which expands into the condemnation and hatred of others, this is a marker of an abusive relationship.
When the church was interviewed on Jay Leno, The Tyra Show, CNN, Ellen, Oprah as well as numerous others Fred Phelps was not in attendance. He sent his daughter Shirley and granddaughters to preach the message of the church and withstand the intolerance of the audience, another micro-level example of the subservience women from this patriarchal church culture are taught
Though Theroux attempted to interview Phelps several times during the filming of the documentary, whenever Phelps was asked a question he would snidely reply with mocking comments such as; “don’t bother me with that kind of a silly question.” Statements such as these serve as examples of the manipulation his community is being subjected to.
Phelps is very candid in his treatment of others. He uses blunt language as a way to imply that he serves truth. We live in a society which associates things like honesty and sincerity with goodness and righteousness, thus under Phelps logic the more candidly or “honestly” he speaks the more righteous he becomes and the more he serves his god, in this way his blatant manipulation is able to wear the cloak of righteousness and integrity. The only problem is that he has confused honesty with malice. Phelps has appointed himself a virtuous knight accomplishing honorable work in the name of god; he motivates faith by inspiring fear and painting shame on the faces of others. This is the way that discrimination and hatred is cultivated; under the justification that it is your right, your duty, to oppress or manipulate others for their own good. In this way Phelps has taken away the free will of his community, another example of the meso-level ramifications. But it’s ok, because he says it’s out of love.
There is an old cartoon I’m thinking of where a husband comes home from work after having a rough day, in order to unload some of his negative energy and frustration about his situation, he yells at his wife. The wife now irritated proceeds to yell at their child, who in turn kicks the dog and passes the negativity onward. A very simplistic view of what some of us call karma. This comic not only clearly depicts the roles of class within our patriarchal society but it also simply portrays the not-so-easy to visualize emotional system that we are all members of. McIntosh explains that “I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her own individual will.” (McIntosh-1) In this way each of us as members of society need not be aware of the oppressive system we live within, or take any real responsibility for our actions. This system perpetuates the idea that individual success is dependant only upon individual ability, or motivation, in reality this is not the case. This mentality fails to acknowledge that often there are factors beyond our control which make life more difficult or far easier for each of us individually. Despite what we tell ourselves we don’t all have access to the same privileges based on education, class, socio-economic status, gender, ethnic affiliation, sexual orientation or ability as those at the top of the pyramid.
In the case of the WBBC and its members, women in particular, are made to feel inadequate and undeserving. They are blamed along with eve for the downfall of mankind; they are made to take on responsibility for things over which they have no control. It is as if the women of his congregation are servants and not equals. There is a silent manipulation which takes hold of them, the vise-like grip that consumes them under the ruse of “right religion”. In regards to privilege there is a clear parallel here between the women of the Westboro Baptist Church and the privileges denied to many minorities within our society, but they say it is out of love. We live in a culture where it’s a weakness to express oneself; we are made to feel shame when we cry, we rarely meet one another in the eye, especially if we are strangers. We don’t greet one another, we mind our own business. If someone asks how we are the only socially acceptable response is “Good.” When in reality how often are we really good? Why don’t we share with one another? More and more I hear the phrase “I’m sorry” for an intrusion into personal space in the hallway instead of a simple “excuse me”. And less and less we hear apologies where they truly belong. We are less self aware and more negative; we are more judgmental and less loving, many of us are looking at the pie only from where we are standing, we may not stop to consider and look at the size others have been given. If we do look, we call one another lazy or we chalk it up to individual incompetence as an excuse instead of acknowledging that we are functioning within a system that isn’t designed to serve equality. Under patriarchy those being served with privileged don’t have to look in the mirror and take responsibility for their actions, because this competitive system implies that there is a best and that not everyone can be that. It implies that only the best get to the top because they deserve to be there. It fuels the idea that some are better than others because they are made that way and not because they have grown in a system that serves them best. It provides privileges to some while withholding from others. We are so caught up on our differences that we forget we should be attempting to level the playing field altogether.
This is a system which fails to acknowledge that I am merely a person stuck within the body of a woman.
When two of Phelps late teen-aged and attractive granddaughters were asked if they had ever dated or if they would ever marry, they laughed and scoffed, then one replied; “the world is at the end of its days, we’re going to be seeing more and more of these disasters. My mission is to serve god. I won’t dwell on that.” as if her life were already over. Such a rage filled brainwashed upbringing would lead any person to an existence filled with equal amounts of sadness and hatred, and is a befitting reason these community members find endless hateful ways to express some of their pent-up frustration and emotions. These girls are examples of the inequalities faced on a micro-level within a hegemonic patriarchal society. This discrimination is to such an extreme that they will likely never have real careers, marry, have children or enjoy life in the most basic of ways.
More than I am astonished and hurt by the WBBC’s hateful actions, I am dismayed at some of the comments people have made about what should be done to these people. There is talk about harming them in some way, as if that would make it better, as we could justify spreading violence to people who “deserve it”. No one deserves that. We want to show these people the “right way” because we are so angry at the way they are spreading hate. During the documentary one of the members of the church group was hit in the head with a cup intentionally thrown from a car speeding by. He was 7 years old with blood running down his head. But we say it is out of love.
These people are in an abusive relationship with life, and they are dealing with it in an unhealthy way because that is all they have been shown. They have been raised in this environment and they continue to live within it because they don’t know any better. Many of the church members were born into this life of hatred. They were never given a choice about their beliefs; they have never known anything else, and they do not seek to become self-aware.
We need to help them, not give them more of an incentive to continue this vicious cycle. If someone slapped you and told you that was love your entire life, you wouldn’t know the difference either. Many of the members of the group are educated lawyers with licenses, proving these people are capable of intelligence. They live in an environment which makes them feel constantly worthless, after all everyone is inadequate when compared to an all-knowing power. These people are so blinded by fear that they can’t even take responsibility for their own actions. They have been shortchanged in terms of emotional expression and they are being robbed of a happy life full of self-acceptance and joy.
They spread violence with their words and exhibit the only behavior they have ever been shown. But they say it is out of love. We become angry at the way they are so we de-humanize them and fight violence with violence, continuing the vicious cycle. But we say it is out of love. We are all so angry that we feel justified hating right back so we can show them how to hate the right way.
But we say it is out of love.
If you would like to watch the documentary you can do that here:
If you would like to read McIntosh’s article: “White Privilege: Unpacking the Knapsack” you can do that here:
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